Posted by: chicagoshells | April 6, 2012

Ding! Round Two.

Trouble was inseminated again this afternoon.  It went smoothly, although she’s not feeling well and is also in the midst of finals.  She’s such a trooper.  This past week was an exercise in trying to hold on to the shreds of my sanity…largely due to continuing drama with my surgeon and insurance company, courtesy of the accident.  I’ll spare myself the rising blood pressure that would be sure to happen if I wrote it all out, and spare you the boredom of reading the gory details, but…adulthood sure is over-rated sometimes.  Work has also been stressful.  Happily, in the past day, both of these major stressors seem to be calming down a little.  Here’s hoping.  And then, of course, these pesky “dealing with real life” issues were compounded by the life inside my head, where TTC reigns supreme.  I somehow managed to convince myself about 15 times that we were out this cycle before we even started…Trouble started using opks in the evening of CD 10 instead of the morning, plus her temp was super low that morning…cue worrying that she was already ovulating and we had missed it.  Wednesday was CD 12, the day we’ve seen a +opk for the past three months…the morning’s first test gave an “error” reading.  I stayed awake worrying until Trouble got up and did another test.  Negative, as were two more tests later in the day…cue more worrying, this time focusing on the fact that this was a new box of tests and perhaps they were defective.  Yesterday, CD 13.  opks still negative in the morning and afternoon…cue obsessive worrying that Trouble will never ovulate again.  8:30 last night…positive opk.  Cue a small semblance of relaxation, followed by the usual worry that the clinic will somehow not get or respond to my message.  Which, of course, they got and responded to promptly this morning.  Inseminations were scheduled, after which I looked at Trouble’s temp from this morning and it was super high.  Never mind that the radiator in our bedroom is insane, never mind that she’s not feeling well, never mind that her temps tend to jump around a fair amount…cue worry that between 8:30 last night and 7:00 this morning she managed to have her full LH surge, ovulate, and have time for it to manifest in a thermal shift.  After I talked myself down from that one and managed to be vaguely productive for a few hours, I headed to the clinic…cue worry that something will be wrong with the sperm.  Good God.  This is only month two.  I’m going to give myself an ulcer.

All that worrying was, of course, for nothing.  I mean, the +opk ONE DAY LATER than usual is still a level of “regular” that many in the TTC world would kill for.  The sperm was, in fact, “a very active sample” according to the clinician (or as Trouble said, “Ew, they look like gnats flying around.  I just want to swat them.”)  Everything with the actual insemination went swimmingly, pardon the terrible pun.  Today, in fact, has been a day with all sorts of “good signs,” was I the type to look for the positives instead of worry obsessively about the negatives…someone on the GLBT fertility board is pregnant, which I read about as I was on my way to the clinic.  My sister got into graduate school.  My friend/assistant put an offer down on a condo.  Good things everywhere, so maybe for us too.  Yeah.  Thinking positive.  Maybe I should try that for a change.

 

 

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Responses

  1. It is all normal! We feel that way every time we head to the dr…ok its more me…ok all me lol my wife is a pillar of cool!
    The first month we tried, when I got the + opk I walked out and threw it on the table in front of my wife! And subsequent months our + was off a few days and stressed me out. This month we did a trigger shot and no opks trying to give us a much better window of ov. We find out sunday hopefully! Fingers crossed we both get a BFP!

    Good luck to you!

  2. Fertility tracking stress is the worst. I wish I could tell ya it gets better, but I may or may not have spent some time this morning comparing the timing of +OPK and temp shift this cycle to all my FertilityFriend charts since freaking 2008 and we *cough* didn’t even inseminate this month. Charting is a tricky beast–in some ways it provides some data geek respite from all the emotional stuff going on, but it is also so easy to get all wrapped up in looking for patterns in what is not the ideal experimental environment, what with all the overactive heaters and other confounding variables. Good luck this month!

    • At least I know there are tons of people out there who make themselves just as crazy…good to know I’m not alone 🙂
      I heard you were going for #2…so exciting!!

  3. Good luck!! All the charts and stuff have been very stressful for me and my partner and I couldn’t deal with it. I hope it works quickly for you and trouble so you don’t have to bother with it all much longer.

  4. and it’s GORGEOUS out! Which is perfect weather for happy sperms! Right? I mean, they can tell if it’s spring and time to make cute little babies, and it’s lovely and easter and a full moon and SPRING! So you’re bound to have gotten it all right this time. Yes, indeedy!

  5. Good Luck! Keeping my fingers crossed for you two!


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